Next You'll Be Trying To Say Varicose Veins Are Sexy

Alright, white people, stop crying - I admit it:

 Miley Cyrus caught me.

'I'm 108lbs, I know my ass is flat!'

So now, let's move to who her voice sounds like,...

I Think We'll All Be Cutting Out At About The Same Time

“It is a gross mistake to suppose that self-esteem is always a good quality, the more of it the better.”

- THEODORE DALRYMPLE 

 That quote's from a child-killing story I needed to brush up on, as I'd let it slip by with just a glance before, and felt a bit guilty. 

God, I'm glad I'm not a hippie. I've just had to live with them, in the destruction of their wake. That's been enough. 

I've learned how to laugh about it. 6 kids dead so a fool could "feel good about himself"? ♬It's getting better all the time!♪

So, that said, can we get to the nude photo spread of Miley Cyrus already? Isn't that where this is all leading? Isn't the gradual push, push, push, just extended foreplay for television to graduate into the equivalent of a 24 hour porn booth? You see any other "artistic barriers" being broken? Even attempted to be broken? Well let's get on with it then. You're "liberated," baby - Madonna said so - now show me your tits.

There goes my gag reflex. Unfortunately, it's usually triggered by things other people insist on me watching, like the selling of Barack Obama. 

We HAD to have him, too, remember? He was the fulfillment of,...something. The editor of Newsweek said he was a god. People shot guns in my neighborhood when he got elected. Meanwhile, I was hunkered over the toilet, because I share a planet with anyone so stupid. That's how I've spent a lot of my life. Shoot, who am I kidding - it's become real life:

One long session, staring at porcelain, giving it up,...

 

M. Night Shyamalan's NewAge Logic At Work: My Films Suck Because I'm Just Like Directors Everybody Loves

Excruciating Torture * PAIN * Screams Of Terror * Loss Of Bladder Control & All Feelings Of Self Worth * Kill Me

 

 

Destructive Appearances

And then, every so often, I catch a glimmer of daylight:

  Millennials Hate Bruce Springsteen

Which, of course, needs to be stamped out - that's the purpose of the article. The writer, being a fan of the adulterous and multi-married Springsteen, he probably thinks, or thought, like this:

Some years ago, the man I am married to told me he had always had a mad desire to go to an orgy. Why on earth, I asked. Why not, he said.

And he'd later be divorced by that woman, who'd become admired for it, because she thinks, or thought, like this:

It would be just like the dances at the YMCA I went to in the seventh grade—only instead of people walking past me and rejecting me, they would be stepping over my naked body and rejecting me.

These are misshapen trolls, presented as our cultural heroes.

Thank goodness, not everyone's following their lead,...

 

Study Hard (Because It May Be The One Thing You Do)

The Onion has a piece called How Can I Use Feminism To My Advantage? that reads like it's from a young Ann Althouse:

I wanted to cash in on the centuries-long subjugation of my gender, too! 

Many modern women are afraid to call themselves feminists. I often remind these weak, confused women of the words of Gloria Steinem: "In my heart, I think a woman has two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist." When I first read Steinem, she awoke ambitions I never knew I had. I wanted to be just like her—powerful, famous, and financially well off. 

Since my awakening, I've memorized quotations from feminists of all stripes, from Betty Friedan to Susan Faludi. Decades of activists have left persuasive arguments in support of my campus group's private study lounge in the student union. Hey, whatever works. Take that, International Students Club! Have fun studying in the library, with all the other losers who don't have a dedicated study lounge. 

Not all feminists have this attitude, and I'm relieved. If they did, feminism wouldn't work half as well as it does. Most of the women in the network are fully committed to eradicating harmful gender stereotypes and redefining sexual archetypes. I am, too, whenever it places me in a favorable social position.

Yep, that's our girl - exploitive to the end. Here's her Wikipedia page. See if you can grasp her larger significance, because I can't. No lives saved. No ground broken (except for herself, as The Onion jokes). No true challenges to anything - not even "the patriarchy". No reason to ever think she's anything other than superficially "smart" and unworthy of admiration. Not a single contribution, or concern, for the country or mankind. 

Here's, ultimately, what I found:

Althouse has a degree in fine art from the University of Michigan, B.F.A. 1973, and graduated first in her class from New York University School of Law, J.D. 1981.

Translation: 

The woman with some of the worst taste in art imaginable can still memorize like a motherfucker (landing her smack dab in the "artists who can't - teach" category).

Other than her nephew being a famous golfer, there's not much else. First in her class, and she's famous for riding the feminist-with-a-mouth train, and nothing more.

Her "career" is being Al Sharpton in a dress.

Seriously, there's nothing else there. She's just another insane middle class cipher (look at that photo) taking up valuable space, the amazing memory failing her when updating her biography. 

Wikipedia does mention her famous never-again-mentioned statement on the Obama cult - that he used "trickery" to get the dummy's vote - but, for instance, there's not a single word about her repeated public breakdowns (whether on Wikipedia or her blog) which I find all-around-dishonest. Her one-sided and ignorant broadsides against the Catholic church, in defense of her gay son, don't get mentioned either (She supposedly "teaches" on religion and the Constitution, which must be fun to hear,...). And her goofy racial obsessions - she once saw racism in an innocent smiling statue - get nothing. 

That should tell you how Ann, and biographies on Wikipedia, "work". Just leave out the shit everybody needs to know and viola! You've got Ann Althouse: Rule Breaker, or something else immature she can imagine herself, drunkenly, from a cafe'. (There's no "wine box" mentions on Wikipedia either - a total whitewash.)

Are you starting to get the picture of how Ann's "succeeded"?

No mention the crazy lady is crazy. The crazy lady keeps her trap quiet, too - while calling men out because, she thinks, no one will ever discover she's nuts. And she's riding that shit to the bank, laughing with her "feminist husband" (she's got two) on getting one over on the unsuspecting public. 

In other words, in a decent world - or if she was a man - she'd be a user, a loser, and a pig.

She's definitely been a bad example to her push-over of a kid - and decent bloggers everywhere,...

 

Crime Is About The Con (Artist: Framing And Reframing)

Under-motherfucking-statement! This is an Understatement Alert:

“Things just got a little carried away today.”

Now, I've seen better, but - considering everything - that's playing it on the d/l pretty darned well.

In The Over-Statement Dept., I was going to site The Phantom's evil HorrorCore lyric:

"I will fuck anybody up in the worst way, rape a bitch on her birthday."

But as a Rap, not only is it clunkier than Gumby, but The Phantom's been unmasked. Please, Ladies & Gentlemen, try matching the photo above (and the way his t-shirt fits around the waist) to another of his alter ego's particularly clunky couplets:

"I’m a nasty cunt,  I will punch you in the face and you look like you’ve been having some acupuncture ’cos my fist is lethal. 

I’m a fucking hero, you’ve got fucking zero. I’m a motherfucking demon, I’ll stab you in the face with a needle."

I know all about death by placebo, but this is ridiculous,...