After Years Of Saying, "If You Don't Care, Nobody Else Has To," They Think I'm Crazy (For Acting Like Them,...)

So - how are all of Ann Althouse's "losers" today? Wanna talk about race some more? How about gays? I'm sure I've got some glitter around here, somewhere, that I can fart in someone's face "to make a point." Or will it?

No - not really. Because Americans don't give a shit about my points or yours. Quick to anger, slow to think, that's who we are. It's no mistake one of the most well-known and popular phrases in American english is "What you lookin' at?" because it reflects our sense of our own ignorance so well:

I'm looking at you, asshole.

When I moved to France years ago, I had the shock and misfortune of, on my first day, being engaged with a French nationalist. He had nothing but resentment for George W. Bush and the United States and, immediately, challenged me to prove why Americans are better than everyone else. He, and others, became determined to change my mind about my country and it's people - usually based on race - though they never did. It even got physical. I didn't care. They were French, and I was American, and I seriously didn't care - I'd take them all on. I had friends back home, of every race and nationality, I was proud to bleed for.

But now I'm back, living at home - begging everyone to shut up about race - and my fellow citizens are ever determined to prove the asshole frogs right. Whites talk about "fair" when they know the numbers are so skewed in their favor that such a possibility is probably impossible. Blacks talk about unfairness, like they never catch a break, even after all these years. And neither group thinks about anybody else unless they have to - not just that many blacks are paranoid about being outnumbered by their family's former "masters," but gays, hispanics, asians, etc.. It's all very sick, if you think about it too hard. And we do. Rarely, though, for the kids.

It's so easy to take a "side". Sure, Trayvon Martin was probably, enthralled with "Thug Life," coming home to drink some Lean, and - by age and temporary temperament - not mature enough to handle confrontation well. That still doesn't mean he deserved to die. That doesn't change he was somebody's kid. And it also doesn't mean he, both by his family and the community, wasn't loved.

And, while George Zimmerman may have acted in good faith, only concerned for the safety of his community, that still doesn't change an outlook that - as evidenced by his friends - is pretty insecure. (I'm not even going to comment on the multitude of gun owners who, supposedly, have hearts big enough to care for the community but - when faced with a member of that community - can't think to aim for an arm or a leg,...) George Zimmerman is free, as he should be, but there should also be little cheering. His was not exactly an act of bravery. But instead of a muted response, just by sheer numbers (again) he got an ugly roar of approval. And it was very ugly.

Whites should accept that.

I'm not going to keep up with this racial nonsense because - while the cultish thinking that supports race and racism are a subject I'm happy to cover - TMR's focus has always been on cults, not whatever silly idea or impulse motivates them. Yes, I was born into the "black" one, but we could be fighting over sugar, for all it matters. (And, being Americans, probably would.) I broke free of racism, a long time ago, and - I strongly suggest - the rest of you consider doing the same. As you can see, especially in this silly culture, where "Oh Yeah?" is considered a nifty rejoinder, it ain't going to get us very far.

If any of you were troubled, by the last week's output, don't be. I could give a fuck about race, today, as much as always. What I can't get over is how often it affects everyone else. Let Drudge, or NPR, or FOX, or MSNBC, or (yes) Glenn Reynolds and the mean-spirited folks at Twitchy, ring the bell and Pavlov's snarling dogs come running - Every. Single. Time. It's not smart, it's not helpful, and it's not respectable.

And those three things - without a PC veneer - encapsulate exactly what I've been trying to regain, in and for my home, since I returned to it, gladly, oh so long ago.

If only in my own eyes.

I hope my little "protest" was a good *enough* example of the futility inherent in it. (It took a lot out of me.) Didn't like it? Think it was unworthy? Unfair? Not "right"? Well, flip it upside-down, moron:

I could spend this week doing the exact same thing - for whites - and it would look just the same,...

 

"Nowhere To Run, Nowhere To Hide" Ain't Just A Song

I don't know if this victim was a conservative or not (I've been told there are no "black" victims) but I am 100% positive it wouldn't have made a difference:

Early Saturday morning a white woman in North Carolina opened her front door to find a black man standing before her. Fearing a robbery, Sarah McCartney immediately shut the door and called 911. The man was 24-year-old Jonathan Ferrell, a football player for Florida A&M University. Shortly before arriving on McCartney’s doorstep, Ferrell had accidentally crashed his car nearby, pulled himself from the wreckage and was seeking assistance. When the police arrived, Ferrell ran toward them and was shot 10 times by 27-year-old officer Randall Kerrick.

Here's the post-Trayvon, if-Obama-had-a-son, reality:

Considering my trust in whites, that could've easily been me,...

ADDED:

Death stalks us in this land,...

The Cops Hear "There's A Black Man In My House" Much Too Often For The Message Not To Be Get Crystal Clear

I find it fascinating when looking at blacks conservatives really like - Thomas Sowell, Shelby Steele, Allen West, etc. - their popularity is in direct correlation to their public rejection of what most blacks find important. That idea's been the basis of this entire rant I'm on - that I was told I can't think, for instance, that George Zimmerman acted in self-defense but still like the Hip-Hop culture Trayvon Martin was immersed in. For me personally - facing the ferociousness of the anti-Trayvon attack - that was a step too far, kids. 

Don't get me wrong - I love you and black conservatives. Everybody has made me think, long and hard, about the issues facing blacks and the country. But here's the ugly truth: 

You don't listen to me (We had to have Romney, right? Savior of the Party?) so I no longer expect you to grasp why that handful of conservative black outliers don't define or represent blacks to me, not even a little bit. 

This Trayvon experience - which I was completely unprepared for - has made it clear we are "black" Americans, with Africa as our mother and slavery as our father, trying to make a home for ourselves:

The problem with integrating into the mainstream is that it’s not very embracing of ethnicity. Cultural food, clothing, language, hair styles, and other elements that make a people unique, don’t always have a place in what many consider the ‘American standard’.

And let’s be real, by mainstream I’m talking about an idea of White America.  The reason I say ‘idea’ of White America is because many families that now consider themselves white shed their French, Italian, German, Scandinavian, Polish, British, Irish, Scottish, Portuguese and Spaniard ethnicities in order to embrace that ‘idea’. And not to generalize, some still celebrate their ancestry, but many treat ethnicity as something foreign or ‘old world’.

Not quite the case with African-Americans. Though we’ve been in America for centuries, our ethnicity is as much a part of us as the heavy dose of melanin in our skin (everybody has it, we have a lot).  Part of it is by choice, but most of it is probably because ‘Our Skin don’t fit In’.   Don’t get me wrong, we have made our way into the mainstream, but  we as a people love our food, dress, linguistic flavors, hair styles and other aspects that make us unique.  So African-Americans aren’t going to shed their ethnicity anytime soon like other groups have in this country.

Here it is, plain:

When denied the ability to even stay in a house, you'd better be comfortable in your skin.

You know, like once a year, when I'm supposed to run around screaming, "Kiss Me - I'm Irish!"

 

It's Not A Surprise Why So Few Blacks Can Make It In The Right's Circles Or Why So Few Whites Don't Know

It's shameful to think the only places I can go online to avoid what I call "monkey noises" from whites is here, a black site like The Root, or maybe some liberal outlet. I don't know of a single "safe" place on the Right. Racial intolerance, and harassment, is just too much a part of the conservative decor.

And, while I know all white conservatives aren't even close to racist, I'm also acutely aware of their reluctance to speak to other whites about their attitudes - which means I'm left open as a target.

Nobody needs that - especially the feeling you're all alone, almost betrayed, when your supposed "friends" are right there.

A lot of whites ask me what the answer to race in this country is, and now - post-Trayvon - I don't have an answer for them. I saw too many whites really, really happy a black kid was dead. That's what almost all black people saw. I took Zimmerman's side and whites still disgusted me with their lust for blood - and their attacks on me. And then there was this.

Ask yourself - how many blacks did you encounter today? I've seen nothing but whites today. There are white people who never saw a black person. Unless locked indoors, there's possibly no black person in America who didn't have to deal with whites.

And yet some whites are violently upset with us. Like we just fuck up the view. Some whites have always been violently upset with us. What am I supposed to do with them around me? Hang out with other whites - who won't defend me as I would them? Seriously?

I hate this whole set up - but that's race in America. I'm going to be the bad guy no matter what I do. Don't say anything, I get attacked. Say something, and everybody gets pissed at me - then I get attacked. Can there be any doubt why blacks aren't integrating with conservatives?

This blog didn't used to be black - not even in background color. 

But there's something about defying a white mob alone, online or off, that'll do that to you.

It all definitely came at a bad time, for me personally, but what the fuck?

Begging everybody to drop the topic definitely wasn't working.

And I still can't fathom why I - alone - am always expected to set the good example,...

 

Poetic Justice: I Can't Be Black With Whites (Explained)

Awww - just as I hurt my back, all this Trayvon nonsense kicked up, and trapped me in racial Hell:

  George Zimmerman's De Facto Spokesman Launches a White-Power Podcast 

 Well - it's looking like the only "side" for me to be on was the one I was forced to choose after all:

I definitely ain't down with this,...

 

I Now Understand Why That Mormon Guy Told Me To Call Him (If Anybody Ever Tried To Make Me A Slave)

If I had done that last post, and had a black readership, I would've been high-fived.

I didn't used to write about the paradox of being black in America. I insisted the topic was pointless, useless, a waste of my time and my country's.

But you know what happened? I got shouted down - by white people. How many times did I stomp away from Althouse, because race was a never-ending topic, with me as it's subtext whether anybody else realized it or not? 

I stopped counting.

But now I say O.K., you want to talk? Let's talk. My blog. I speak up and (as most blacks would tell me, and many did, offline) my one black voice is vile - because I don't agree about some white folks' take on the truth of my black existence amongst them. Among other things. I mean, there's been a controversy over how I talk, and now it's gotten to what I say. I've even been told how to interpret my past. Easy to do, if you're Althouse and German, but not if you're of somewhere-in-African descent.

Basically, it's Native Son all over again (now online!) while we pretend it's all-so-very over, for your own convenience and/or peace of mind. I told you I wanted it over. But no - everybody had to choose up sides over Trayvon! (The musical) And before that it was something else. And before that it was something else. Whites choose their battles. I didn't want it and had nothing to do with it.

But, thanks to y'all, I've since had to choose.

And on race, I choose, conservatives are as fucking weird, confusing, and clueless - and confining - as liberals, any day,...

America's An Experiment But Lives Aren't Test Subjects

Now that the news cycle has "moved on" (Ooooh, Syria!) I guess I can start blogging again, my thinking being - while we haven't come to any conclusions about black Americans screaming "My Baby! My Baby!" in grief - we might, at least, be capable of talking. 

I could be wrong. 

 Notice I didn't say anything's changed? That's what I hate about the whole "move on" concept - it isn't true. The participants can be in opposite parts of the world and the problem's still there. Lies get dug up, long after people are dead, still available to be found. 

Kinda off-topic, but look at the cacophony over,...Syria:

Anyone paying attention knows - nothing's changed but appearances - and almost everyone's STILL gone bananas. 

I'm scared, too - but mostly for historians. They're gonna look at all this and know we were nuts.  

We used to laugh at the phrase "mistakes were made" but, no more, not past the Bush years. Now we ignore them. 

The Trayvon-related fiascos have backed blacks into a corner, with the president and his stupid "red line".  While "Choom" echoes in the air - from conservatives disgusted by charges of Bush's cocaine use and other liberal behavior flowing from the previous administration - and now with Syrian children dead before them, too. 

That's rubbing it in, but good. 

Irony's not the only thing escaping our gaze during THIS parade. I've actually heard masturbation spoken of with more passion, this week, than empathy for practically anyone. This is our current politics. Neener, neener, neener. I mean, how many times will Glenn Reynolds make his crack about "smart diplomacy" before it occurs to anyone, that's not helping?

I figure, in certain states of mind, there simply is no helping.

Just as - to an artist - we may expect too much,...